The House of Terror!

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Matthew made an excellent attempt to use short sentences to help build the suspense and some good ‘ly’ words to open his sentences. A fantastic piece of writing Matthew keep up the good work!

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13 thoughts on “The House of Terror!

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  1. MBT (United Arab Emirates) on said:

    I’m impressed by your writing, Matthew! This is amazing, you created a sense of suspense by using short sentences and amazing words in your writing! Keep it up!

  2. IzzyJacobs (United Kingdom) on said:

    Super work Matthew amazing use of empty words.

  3. hanaprice (United Kingdom) on said:

    You created a sense of panic and urgency in your writing by using short snappy sentences. I also like how Ben was too busy to be scared when all the action was happening but it all caught up with him when he got home. I think this is very realistic and would have been how I reacted too!

    Well done!
    Hana Price
    #brilliantwriting

  4. MrsAbbott (United Kingdom) on said:

    Fantastic work Matthew, well done! I love your use of ‘ly’ starters to help hook your reader into the action.

  5. MrAAli (United Kingdom) on said:

    Wow! That was scary, could you re-write this piece with an alternative ending? Maybe the witch doesn’t have to die? Well done!

  6. JMoffatt (United Kingdom) on said:

    Matthew you’ve succeeded in frightening me! How clever of you to combine adverb openers, short sentences and empty words to build the suspense. I really enjoyed reading your work.

  7. GFidler (United Kingdom) on said:

    Wow! What a fantastic piece of writing. I enjoyed reading you paragraph of writing, you have used lots of descriptive words. I really like how you have varied your sentence types. Keep up the great work!

  8. AWhitfield (United Kingdom) on said:

    Matthew, this piece of writing shows you have a great imagination. As a reader I can picture the house and the face of the witch clearly because of your descriptions. Keep it up!

  9. HWallace (United Kingdom) on said:

    Wow Matthew – what a superb piece of writing. You certainly made me feel worried!

  10. Matthew, this is GREAT! I’d love to read much more of your writing: you have a terrific, exciting style. It’s brilliant that you have a public place for people to enjoy how talented you are. Congratulations!

  11. hray (United Kingdom) on said:

    I really love the way you started your story with an adverb – what a great opening sentence! It was also clever that you used an empty word to build suspense – ‘something’ grabbed him. It made me very nervous for poor Ben!

  12. SGreenaway (United Kingdom) on said:

    You have used short sentences to create suspense Matthew – this is a good technique to use! I think I would have been just as scared as Ben if a witch threw me on the sofa! Also, I think she needs to visit the dentist! Perhaps her teeth are mouldy from all the children she has been eating?! Well done Matthew.